Chestbursting With Love
Now this is a wedding cake! What says ‘I love you and want to spend the rest of my life holding hands and calling you husband’ more than small body-destroying aliens dressed up as a bride and groom? Nothing, I tell you!
Archived entries for Film
HS Geek Panel – Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
Ah… Michael Bay. They wrote a song about you and it was true. You love your explosions, cheap jokes and lots of girly flesh and boy did you deliver. Almost three long hours of destruction and humping jokes, Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is a film probably best enjoyed by eleven year old boys who like sports and trucks. Which is a valid target market, just not one I’m currently a member of.
I did see the first Transformers film, but I am not a devotee of the tv show, so maybe that’s why I had such a hard time telling which side each Transformer was on, and even what their names were. I thought the good guys were colourful land-based vehicles and the bad guys were grey flying things, but then all these colourful trucks formed into a giant robot and the good guys started fighting it. Confused!
All I can hope is that they don’t decide to avenge the failed Revenge and subject us to another Shia LaBouf pouting marathon.
As printed in The Herald Sun as part of Hit Magazine’s Geek Panel
HS Geek Panel – Terminator: Salvation
If you are willing to walk into the cinema with the part of your brain that points out glaringly large plot holes switched off, then Terminator: Salvation is one exciting film. Sam Worthington as Marcus is the star, a charismatic relief to Christian Bale’s Shouty-Batman portrayal of John Connor.
So charming is Marcus that everyone he meets seems to fall in love with him enough to not notice his strange lack of present knowledge and the way magnetics like him a little too much. All Connor has going for him is his ability to knock up his girlfriend.
The CGI was so good it was barely noticeable, with the exception of some awesome Transformer-like Terminator-bots and one Uncanny Valley guest star. The fight scenes are pretty great, full of melting cyborgs and lots of things blowing up.
Oddly enough there is no time travel mentioned in the film, which may explain why Connor seems to have no memory of the events that happened to him in the past – or maybe that’d be the plot again. Oops.
As printed in The Herald Sun as part of Hit Magazine’s Geek Panel
HS Geek Panel – Fanboys
Road Trip for the Nerd Generation, Fanboys brings the geeky to a standard teen movie. Dan Fogler as Hutch, one of the four Star Wars obsessed boys, reminds me of a young Jack Black and steals any scenes that Seth Rogan hasn’t already bogarted.
The film is set before the release of Episode 1: Phantom Menace and so the love these boys have is pure and unsullied. It makes the SW geeks like me nostalgic for that better time.
Unfortunately, it’s a bit too pure. The film could have used a bit more of a self-depreciating sense of humour and poked a bit of fun at it’s idol worshipping protagonists.
Watch it for one of the best cameo appearances I have seen in ages. Deep Throat Lives Long and Prospers.
As printed in The Herald Sun as part of Hit Magazine’s Geek Panel
HS Geek Panel – Star Trek
How many times can you be hanging on to the edge of cliff, fingers slipping, about to plunge to your death? Three, apparently. That’s how many times this scenario happens to James T Kirk over the space of the film.
That’s a pretty good analogy for the film actually. It keeps slipping down toward B-grade schlock but then a completely awesome car chase or a brain-breaking conversation about time travel grabs those slipping fingertips and pulls it back to safety.
Star Trek doesn’t quite know what it wants to be. It has been touted as a reboot, a chance for a new generation to jump onto the Trekkie bandwagon with no prior knowledge of the universe, and yet a good chunk of the jokes rely on, you guessed it, prior knowledge of the characters. Watch it for Sexy Spock.
As printed in The Herald Sun as part of Hit Magazine’s Geek Panel